I've watched a French film, both today and yesterday. One each, I mean. When I was young, as in during my teen years, many people thought I was from France, because I had a certain natural elegance.
No, not as in I was born with elegance. As in, the elegance was in my manners and style, combined with naturalness. I seldom wore makeup and when I did it was often mascara, and nothing more. I would wear t-shirts and jeans, with a pearl necklace, or a denim shirt and mink-clad hoop earrings.
Back then, I did not understand why they thought I was French, Now, having more experience with having met actual French persons and having seen films of/from there, I understand a little.
Now, people think I am white trash. Much of this is situational. As in, I did not change that much, but, I gained weight. When one gains weight, clothing gets more expensive and it becomes harder, if not impossible, to find clothes on a really good sale price or at a thrift store.
My feet, too, became much wider, because I was pregnant, because of all the walking, because of whatever reason, so finding shoes at thrift stores is even closer to full-time impossible than finding clothing.
So, people see me, in what I can afford, and, that is all that has changed. I still have the ability to put together a stylish outfit, in one way, but, no ability at all in another.
There was a time when I splurged on a most wonderful necklace and earring set. Generally, I have zero interest in wearing jewelry, but, there was something about this set and I bought it, though it meant suffering in other ways, for I knew that I would love to wear it, often.
It was Egyptian in look, turquoise and gold trim painted in color, and the necklace was, well, what is called a bib, now, I guess. It used to just be called a collar, as opposed to a choker which is tighter and higher up.
Around this time, I was in a wonderful program, to help parents who are on welfare to get off of it. They taught business skills, but, also stress-coping skills, politeness, body language, self-esteem, and all sorts of things that are related to being a happier, healthier person so as to both get and keep a job.
They also had a storage closet that they allowed us to visit every now and again, which was full of clothes that were donated so that people could put together outfits and find jobs.
I found this really nice broomstick pleated skirt, that was polished cotton, I guess - because it definitely was not silk or regular cotton - and, a deep rust in color.
Now, the teacher told us that since we had the clothes, we were expected to start wearing them to the class, make outfits of them mixed with other things we own, etc.
There was this navy blue knit shell which I had been seriously considering getting rid of, as I had nothing to go with it and I never wore it. But, I would hold it up and it would look so pretty and did things for my eyes, so I kept putting it off.
These elements all came together, so nicely, along with my navy tights and shoes, to make an outfit that was perfectly acceptable for office wear, would be good for going out to dinner or all but the most uptight of parties, and, was very distinctively my style. It was comprised entirely of inappropriately large and colorful jewelry and things that were discarded or unwanted, and, by a woman who had actively been told that these things would not fit her, would not look good on her, were too bold or were too boring.
To this day, it is still one of my favorite outfits - in memory. Someone broke the necklace and earrings for me, because they knew I loved them. I think I finally gave the sweater and skirt away, because I gained too much weight.
Another lovely outfit was created by combining a long denim shirt vest that I was told I should not purchase because it was cheap, ugly and incredibly dyke'sque; a black t-shirt with white daisies printed all over it, which I was told not to purchase, because it was ugly and boring and "You think it will look cute, but, really it's just going to look stupid."; a long, black skirt that I was told not to buy, because it was big and bulky and would only make me look fatter; a pair of black tights and black flats; and, a pair of big stud-backed white enameled daisy earrings that I was told not to buy because they are absolutely hideous and would look really stupid on me. I wore it and I was told "That's a very cute outfit."
I have a few things around here that I can do that with, up to a point, and then, I don't have the right shoes or jacket, or someone has destroyed something, or it no longer fits me, or, I am just too tired and too ill feeling to bother.
My home is a mess, because I have been tired and ill and not receiving help in cleaning it, from the people who have lived with me, most of the time. If my home is a mess, that makes finding the pieces to put them together, into an outfit, that much harder.
Now, that class I mentioned, above, is the same one that I have mentioned before, in regards to goals. Something else they taught us, or at least gave us helpful reminders and encouragement about, was organization.
Organization is important, because, it helps to keep a home clean and functional. It is so much easier to clean a room if it is decluttered, and to declutter a room, if you know where everything is supposed to go.
So, if your goal is to stop wasting 15 minutes, every morning, trying to find your shoe, you need to clean your home. And, that means decluttering. And, that means organizing.
That's right, to manage your time, you have to manage everything else that takes up that time!
For a brief shining few months, before some hellish weirdness descended upon my life, once again, and I grew so ill from stress that I couldn't keep going, so that I lost all control and never got it back again, I was a very organized person, living in a very organized apartment.
Because, it was organized, it was also clean. And, because I was organized, it only took me a few minutes to get ready in the morning, and I never missed my bus. Though, on occasion, the bus missed me, but, one cannot help the perversities of others or their scheduling.
Even if all one can do by way of organization is to stack things neatly where they lay on the floor, sorting them out into like items by pile, it is still so much better than not to have any organization at all.
Organization is, like most everything else - dieting, exercising, cooking - something that even a little of can be life-changing. True, in all cases, to have special equipment, the help of others, lots of free time to do it in, can help you to do it better or faster; but, having less than what is recommended, no one to help, and very little time, does not mean that you cannot help yourself and make your life happier and healthier by doing so.
I have almost zero storage, except in the kitchen and even that is not much. Though, apparently, I shall soon be the only person living in this house, and so I will have another room in which to do things.Still, not much shelving, my bookcases are mostly broken and unusable or I would have more.
Yet, I can do things to make life better, organization-wise, and I will do so. Losing fat is only one of my goals, after all!
By the way, for lunch, I had some slices of cucumber and some wee tomatoes. They are not cherry tomatoes, as they look more like little bullets than balls, but, they were good all the same.
I admit to playing with my food, by the way. Why not? My hands were clean! I took the little tomato bullets and stuck them between the fingers of one hand, danced them about a bit, put them in different configurations, in case any vegetarians need help in living long and prosper, or Mork stops by for a salad. Eventually, I ate them.
Remember: life is a celebration. If you are not having fun, it is not a celebration. It is quite true that one should not play with one's food, as in flinging it about wildly or doing things that waste it; but, if one wishes to make fork tracks through their mashed potatoes, then one really should.
Maybe not at business meeting! Possibly not while meeting one's future-intended in-laws for the first time. Then, again, it is just as well that people who will be in your life for a very long time get to know who they will be dealing with.
I am also, now, having some peanut butter, strawberry jam, and saltines. It is a good treat and fairly economical. I do not eat it for the economics of it, though. I really do enjoy it.
Earlier, there was a chance that I would bake something, as I have these cake and quick bread mixes that I purchased approximately 100 years ago, and I was considering it as a means of having something tasty and different, and, quite frankly, getting them out of the house without wasting them.
Economics were also involved, as I could give them away, but, then, I would have to buy other food to replace them and I really can't afford that much, right now.
Organization is involved in that I could not easily find all I need to bake any of them, and, yet, they are cluttering up the place.
Part of why I cannot afford to do it is that if I went straight on to the making of flat bread and all that, I would really need some canisters or at least a much emptier refrigerator/freezer, because, this is Arizona. There will definitely be cockroaches climbing up the drains and pack rats sneaking in. To entice them with open containers of flour and sugar, freely sitting about the place, is just to beg for trouble.
All of which boils down to me needing to organize my life, starting at where I am, and doing what I can, and building on to it, over time, until I have achieved something like decluttered cleanliness.
Where do I start? How do I start? What does this have to do with weight loss? Read on and we shall see!
By the way, if the movies are to be believed, the French are lousy dancers, but, they do it well.
Eh?
Their actual movements, in these films, left much to be desired. It looked as if several real people were dancing, rather than that a choreographed dance was being performed for the amusement of an audience at a theatre.
Yet, despite that they bopped and swayed like epileptic chickens caught in a slow time envelope, they seemed to be enjoying it, and were not making fun of each other's inadequacies. So, it was very well done!
This is how dancing should be. If you can do it well, show it off and let other people enjoy it. If you can only dance badly, show it off and let other people enjoy it. And, never, ever tell anyone - not even yourself - that they are unworthy to dance, because someone else does it more expertly, or because they look funny doing it.
Oh no! Dancing, food, pretty colors, art, smiling faces, laughter, the scent and leafy dance of trees and flowers, the aroma of spices .. these are all part of the celebration of life. If you are living, you should have them and enjoy them, as much as possible.
God gave them to you. He gave them to me. Let us show our appreciation by making them integral parts of our life.
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