Yesterday...

... all my troubles seemed so far away .... 

Not really!

Yesterday, for dinner, I had pepperoni pizza, scant on pepperoni, heavy on cheese, and not just a little bit. Four slices, one of them rather big, of glorious cheese-laden yumminess.

I will suffer for it - can feel it starting already- but, I knew that going in and felt it worth the trouble. The pizza was $7 plus tax and it was well worth the money ad pain combined.

Plus that was after having the same breakfast and lunch, of salad with garlic in it. I was feeling incredibly out of sorts and prone to making rash decisions to eat pizza.. We weren't going to eat pizza, though. We were going to have hamburgers, but, the pizza was on sale and we were poor.

If I could eat pizza, as a full time thing, I'd go buy one when it was on sale, like that, or maybe even just the $10 Mama Mia, and eat a slice with some lovely salad alongside it. But, that is not my lot in life and so this was not that sort of pizza. This was an illicit joy pizza and so it was eaten illicitly and jjoyfully.

Perhaps you think I should feel guilt. Well, I do not. I feel like a person who made an informed decision and, while it was maybe not the best decision in some respects, it was made of my own free will, understanding that there would be possible painful repercussions. I'd feel guilty if I gave into temptation of the moment, perhaps; but, there is no guilt over an informed decision of this nature.

Not even sure it would be guilt I'd feel in the other circumstance. Maybe more disgusted with my own weakness. Is that a form of guilt? Maybe!

At any rate, if I was one of those people who secretly pulled into a drive thru or three, and gobbled down the food quickly so as not to get caught, then hid the evidence, I'd feel guilty.

I almost had one of those moments, the other day, for I really wanted something, like maybe a cupcake, and I was filled with unholy lust for one. Then, I went into a store to get a drink. I found myself in the bakery section, contemplating the cakes and I almost-seriously considered buying a piece and eating it before leaving the store with the drink. It would have been a quick and primarily unenjoyable gobble, too.

It was not because I was ashamed of wanting a piece of cake, though. It was that I was with my sister, and she is one of those "We can only have something yummy once a month or every two weeks" kind of people. This leads to binging and secret forays into bakery aisles! She would have looked at me with disgust, accused me of leading her astray, demanded I share with her, and generally nagged me into a coma over it.

Sometimes, reality has to assert itself. It is just a piece of cake. A ... PIECE ... of cake is not bad. It is when one eats a huge piece, every day, or several times a day, or one has some health issue where one should not eat cake, or one eats half of or a whole cake, that the trouble starts. Or, when one becomes sneaky.

When the cravings come upon  you, it is best to stop and force yourself to do a little rational thinking. And, to ask yourself questions such as:

1) Have I had too much (junk food, calories, sugar, caffeine, spending) already?
2) Is there an alternative that will satisfy?

For instance, yesterday, I really wanted something with sugar. Well, I ended up eating two Ice Breakers, instead of higher calorie, more expensive candy.

3) How much will it take to satisfy me?

Seriously, I know that there are times when it seems like you need the whole cake, pizza, pan of lasagna, or whatever; and, sometimes, you do need a lot of something, but, mostly, you don't need a lot of whatever it is that is driving you mad.

Yes, I realize I am saying that after eating four slices of pizza. I have my reasons, and they mostly go like this "The pizza will make me suffer , whether I eat one piece or more than one piece, so I may as well get maximum enjoyment out of it, for I shall not pass this way again, soon."  I even put Parmesan cheese on the pizza, and red pepper flakes, too. Mmmm!  

The last time I ate pizza, though, was several months ago; and, the time before that was also several months before that.Usually, I don't have pizza even once a year. I'm not worried about my pizza intake, just now!

After you ask yourself these questions, I want you to really consider such things as if you have eaten anything nutritious yet, what you can eat or drink that is very healthy for you before you indulge in your obsession, and if there is any way to share it with anyone so that you can have a good taste of what you need and then get it gone.

This last part is very important and it is something that many thin people do. They also do something else which is much more wasteful and much less charitable, but, it is a perfectly valid survival technique and I guess it helps the homeless, so. ..

If you can, without feeling guilty for doing harm, take your treat and share it with a reasonable amount of people. For instance, say me and my sister went and bought a dozen cookies. It would be unreasonable for us each to eat six of them in one go and she is not the sort of person who can save cookies for long, so we could not each have just one or two, every day, until gone,

However, I do have my son living with me and she does have her son, his girlfriend and his girlfriend's son living right nearby. That makes six people! Each person could have two cookies and that would be a reasonable amount. Thus would we get what we crave, without that dreadful "must finish the package" feeling holding sway.

So, don't deny yourself all pleasures, is my point. Find a way to control them! Buy a smaller package of whatever it is, eat some veggies and/or protein before sweets, bite into a pickle or some olives and see if that helps the cravings go away, drink water, take a sip of coffee or tea if your energy feels low, buy a piece of fruit if that will satisfy you instead,

Once you have it, if it is big, find a way to share it; or, if you can control yourself this way, put most of it up to indulge in later.

 I tend to buy big chocolate bars and put them in the freezer, then break off a piece every now and again. It works wonderfully, so long as I can keep other people from stealing it.

Eat it slowly, taking time to smell the aroma and enjoy the sight of it. This is your craving, your desire being fulfilled. Cherish it. Take your time. When you bite, bite slowly, and really allow the flavor to play on your tongue. Chew thoroughly and swallow reluctantly, . Wait between bites, giving yourself time to savor the aftertaste, to again enjoy the aroma.

And, if you feel satisfied, if you know that this is enough for now, stop. Don't finish the package or plate. Do what you need to do, whether it is sharing or hiding it away in the freezer for next time, or doing that most dreadful thing that skinny people do.

They actually do things like buy a candy bar, slice of pizza, hamburger, or whatever it is they are craving and then they bite into it and take their pleasure and then, in a most wasteful manner, throw the rest away.

I used to be extremely disgusted and irritated by this behavior, as it is so very wasteful. However, now I also see it as a survival technique. It is how they stay skinny. It is a discipline. If they want more candy later, they must buy another bar, and go through this all over again. They cannot finish a full candy bar, at a time. It works!

And, as I said, which I did not think about when younger: It probably helps out the homeless. I mean, if you were so bad off that you had to dig through the trash for food, wouldn't you be pleasantly surprised to find an almost full Snickers bar? Think about it!

However, I think in such cases, it is best to seek out an actual homeless person and ascertain if they would like the candy, hamburger, or whatever it is, and give it to them directly, if the answer is yes. It lends you both a little more dignity!

Now, I have not done measurements and I do not expect to, just now; but, I dd weigh yesterday and I do have my results from the time before that, too, so I shall share them with you.

On June 12th                              

Weight: 284.1
Height: 5'6.1"
B.M.I. 46
Body Fat Mass: 120.1


On June 27th                           

Weight: 283.7
Height: 5'6.1"

B .M.I. 46
Body Fat Mass 119.2

This is with drinking beer, eating cake, almost no exercise, lots of stress, and infernal amounts of heat, plus being bloated up and fairly unable to pee. So, I am not displeased.

Today, I have moved a couch, attempted to clean a bathroom floor, and arranged shelves in the kitchen in a way that will, hopefully, make it easier to get the canned goods, etc. arranged, as well.

In other words, I have made a good start on cleaning and getting ready to be able to exercise and eat healthy. For it is awfully hard to eat healthy and exercise, when one cannot find the pans or the floor space in which to do it.

Today, I am having ...

for breakfast: a large handful of spinach, with a little yellow and red bell pepper, zucchini slices, roma tomato chunks, a very wee little bit of smoked sausage, with a smattering of minced garlic, drizzled grapeseed oil and lime juice for dressing. Oh, and some Hint of Lime tortilla chips, but, just a wee bit.

Today

I got a little written on a Foreword and on the rules and steps. Hopefully, more will be forthcoming, tomorrow.

My arm, especially my shoulder, is hurting quite bad. It is the tendons.

Been away at my sister's ...

My computer was fried; but, no, in case you were going to ask, I did not take a bite out of it, mistaking it for a retro McD's pie.

For some reason, it is back to logging on to the internet, in a seemingly normal fashion, even though it wouldn't consider staying connected the other day.

While I was at my sister's, we watched The Biggest Loser and something a woman said, on there, struck me. She said her and her daughter were always planning on starting a new diet or somesuch and they would say "On Monday." but, that Monday never came.

It made me feel a bit guilty. I mean, I keep putting things off, until I have the perfect eating and exercise plan in place, but, all I am doing is wasting time and making excuses, really.

In fact, my advise to you would be not to wait, but, to make a small change, take a small step, and begin the movement of the dance. So, it is advice I should darn well take, myself.

As is evidenced by the broken microwave plate, things are not going to get any better for me. That is, there will not be a perfect time to start. So, I had better shore things up as best as I can, pick something to do, and begin.

Grocery Shopping II: The Why of it all

.. or, all of it that I can remember, anyway:

Grapeseed oil - I don't remember why this seemed like a good idea, besides it being on sale. I mean, I did read good things about it, before, but, a long time ago.
"The linoleic acid in grape seed oil can reduce complications from diabetes when added to the diet." So, there is a bit of benefit to it, at least.


Tends to go bad, easier than many oils, so, should be kept refrigerated. Probably won't be buying this again, but, one never knows. Sometimes it is good to have an extra bit of variety.

Potatoes - Forgot to mention them, but, I did buy them, as well. I wasn't going to, was going to quit them mostly altogether, but, I read that they are a rich source of magnesium and I need magnesium.

1 large white potato (3" - 4-1/2" in diameter) yields approximately:
281 calories; 6.3 g of protein; 29.9 IU of Vitamin A; 37.7 mg of Vitamin C; 29.9 mg of Calcium; 80.7 mg of magnesium; 1626 mg of potassium; and is of course, extremely low fat.

Pumpkin seeds - 1/4 cup yields approximately: manganese

73.5%

tryptophan53.1%

magnesium47.7%

phosphorus39.7%

copper21.5%

protein19.5%

zinc16.8%

iron15.7%

Calories (180)10%

Flaxseed meal - 1 tbsp yields approximately:
Calcium      26.1mg                    3%

Iron

0.6

mg

3%

Magnesium

40.2

mg

10%

Phosphorus

65.8

mg

7%

Potassium

83.3

mg

2%

Sodium

3.1

mg

0%

Zinc

0.4

mg

3%

Copper

0.1

mg

6%

Manganese

0.3

mg

13%

Sunflower seeds- A very good source of Vitamin E
Cous Cous - This is so wonderfully easy to cook!
Millet -
Wheat Winter Berries -
Kamut - Forgot to mention this as well, but, I did get some! Why? Uhm.. it's another thing I remember reading something good about and so I decided to try it.

Grocery Shopping

Today, went to two different stores ,the of the usual variety, and spent almost all the rest of my budget for the next 20 days. Got my son some Dr. Pepper's, in cans, and even bought myself some bottles of diet soda, with the intention of making them last a while; but, mostly, I got the sort of things I should get.

Whole grain bread, turkey lunch meat (bought 4 pkgs because it was on sale), orange juice (3 gallons but gave one to my sister for taking me grocery shopping and one will mostly be drunk by my son, so that, maybe, I'll get some of the third one), grapefruit, apples, corn tortillas from one store.

From the other store, I got chia seeds (will need a grinder for them), raw and roasted pumpkin seeds, raw sunflower seeds, ground flax meal, winter wheat berries, millet, cous cous and raw cashews. I think that was it, anyway.

Still have a lot of canned veggies to eat and the place is still a rotten mess, but, I am hoping to get it sorted well enough to get a proper start on things in the next week or so.

When I was out at Mom and Dad's, I also bought some fruit juices of the more exotic types (though I can't remember just which kinds, now), grapeseed oil and more safflower oil.


Now, why did I get these things? Let's explore a bit!

Lots of fat girl photos

I believe they are all from this morning and afternoon - 6/11/2012 - and, if not, they are all from this week, anyway.

These photos are intended as proof of fatness for the sake of showing how I managed to lose weight, later. You do not have permission to reproduce them, unless I have put them in a book and you are my publisher and you have a contract signed by me that proves it.

Rough Draft beginning of "WHY?"

  There are reasons why this book is titled 'Fat Girl Refrigerator Mambo. Want to know what they are? Here we go! To best explain, I shall break the title down to its individual words and take them from left to right. This will not be a technically perfect explanation, but, it will be based on my feelings, when I created the painting that originally owned the title, and, what I am hoping to achieve with this book.

Fat: Fat is both very good and very bad, depending on which kind it is, how much there is, and what you do with it.

Plant fats are far better for you than meat fats, most times and under most circumstances. Adults generally should eat a diet lower in fat, but, children should never be put on the same sort of diet, because, they need enough fat to protect their brains and build their bodies. This does not mean you should feed them a high fat diet, though; just that you should give them more healthy fat than the RDA for an adult.

As I said, this is not a technically perfect explanation, so do not, please, run with that and add a heaping tsp of lard to every meal your children consume. Instead, find a book, doctor or internet source that will explain the more technical aspects of why children need fat, when and in what quality and quantity.

Omega-3 fats are supposed to be marvelously good for you. Omega-6 fats are supposed to be marvelously bad for you Yet , there have been studies done that have concluded that we actually need both kinds, and in a rational amount, so either too much or too little of either would be terribly bad for you and just enough would do you wonders.

“Eating of the fat of the land” is a saying that has pleasant, healthful connotations. When a land is “fat” that means it is gloriously, healthily abundant.

Therefore, fat is neither good nor bad. It is what you do with it, how often, when, why and in what quantity that counts! So, it is my belief that one should cease to hide behind euphemisms and outright lies, Those are word play for the ashamed.

Why be ashamed because you have fat upon your body? Everyone alive has fat, some people more than others. If you feel you have too much, acknowledge it, without shame, without apology, and let us see what can be done to change it.

If you feel you have just enough, if you feel health and happy and no health issues result from the fat you have, or do not have, then, why does it matter what others believe? Let them sneer or not, as they please. You have a large behind, perhaps, but, there is so much more to you, whereas, by picking on others, some people make their entire self over into a large behind.

Shame is not the key to change. In fact, shame tends to makesoft us do more of whatever put us into the position of feeling shamed in the first place. It is honest acceptance and understanding of both desire and ability that lead to positive life changes, for most.

If you are fat, say it. “I am fat!” Say it loudly, softly, matter-of-factly, sensually; in different acceents if you like! Do not say it with shame, hate or anger. It is not an insult.

Fat is not all you are, any more than “black” or “American” or “Lithuanian” are words that can sum up someone's entire existence. Yet, in all cases, they describe a facet of the person which colors their entire life, from whom loves them too much to who hates them too well, how they stand out in a crowd, up and what can make them feel good or bad about being in the swell of society in which they currently swim.

If you are fat, this is how you were purposely made to be, perhaps by nature, or perhaps by nurture. When I say nurture, by the way, I don't just mean how you were raised by parents or other adult guardians (or lack thereof). I mean by everything that made up your habitat. That could include how you were raised by your family, yes; but, it could also include the traumatic incident that happened on the way to school when you were six; or, the entire sum of your curricular ife; or, all the over-emphasis on women as sex objects in the media.

Fat is how you were made, because, either you should be fatter than some people or because you allowed yourself to become so, for your own reasons. Now, if you should be fatter than some people, that could be because you have mental, physical or emotional health issues that affect you and from which you need to heal or at least which you need relief from the symptoms of. If you chose to allow yourself to be fat, this could still be true. It could be equally true that you have chosen to seek out that in life which gives you more pleasure than other things, and, have done so to excess; and, that, your particular favorite pleasures are those which lead to having more fat than some people's pelasures do.

Whatever the case, there is no use denying that you are fat or feeling shame over the consequence of nature or purposeful action, or inaction, on your part. So, tell me that you are fat and we can move on to finding ways to either enhancing your natural state of being larger through good muscle tone and healthy eating, or altering the effects of having made poor choices at other times.

Girl: I believe all females are both women and girls. In most cases, they start out as more girl and move toward being more woman, as they age. The woman is the mature, responsible, down-to-earth part of our nature. The girl is the fun, frisky, care free, take life as it comes part. Too much or too little of either, just like with certain kinds of fat, can be bad for you; but, strike a balance and you become a force to be reckoned with, having all the joi de vivre of the girl and all the ability to get the trash out on time, and the bills paid, of the woman.

I use the word girl, instead of woman, in the title, for moe reasons than one. First of all, I believe that much of what goes wrong with one's body shape, as regards gaining fat, is due to a lack of exercising the maturity of a woman, so most fat women are really fat girls, who have not, yet, learned to take responsibility for, and enjoyment of, their own bodies. On the other side of that coin, most fat women are too mature, too wary, to make the changes needed, because, to get up and swim, run, dance, despite the sneering crowds, takes a child-like approach to play; and, all forms of exercise and food preparation, while they should be executed maturally and responsibly, should be playfully enjoyed.

Observe small children, or at least think back to some you have known. I mean SMALL children, who have yet to be warped by all the “yes” and “no” of society, and whom, as of yet, have no clue what size, color, or even sex they are as compared to others. These children are just themselves. What do they do?

I watch tiny children at the mall, sometimes. They tend to run, jump, play, cry, have a snack or drink when they feel it is needed, and interact with other children. None of them have I heard, as of yoet have I heard sneering at other children for having a bad haircut, the wrong body shape, a different skin color, being the wrong sex or for any other reason. Neither have I heard any apologizing for being themselves. They are unconscious as to their qualities, beyond the emotional and tend toward kindness to others more than shame of self. This is beautiful, and, it is what you were – most of you- and what you all need to learn to be to be a fat girl who is going to successfully become a happy, healthy girl.

Society will do its best to drag you down, and if you are fat, it will do it without compunction. The prejudice against fat people knows no boundaries. A person who is well tired of being called racial epitatths or deragatory sex terms, will see no harm in making fun of you for having more fat than they do, more often than not. In the case of women, this is far more true than it is for men; because, for some strange, contrary to nature, reason, many people have this belief that it is alright and more in keeping with their natural build for men to be a bit fat, but, that it is disgusting for women to be anything other than rail thin.

It is my personal belief that this is because an uber thin woman looks less threatening and less capable of “tying a man down” through child birth. She looks unnatural and unhealthy, unable to attack and unable to conceive through ill health and lack of body maturation. Whereas women that are fatter look fertile and able to defend themselves, which is why so many people view thin woman as dateable and, yet, fat woman are viewed as more for strict sexual pleasure.

Don't believe me? Take your safe filters off and Google up the words “thin women”. I just did, and the first thing that came up was 'Images for “thin women” . There is a photo of two women in bra and panties, or pershaps bikinis, standing together and it her like some kind of Before & After thing; a photo of a woman walking away from the camera, on a run way, wearing what appears to be a bikini; a photo of a woman turned to the side, wearing lingerie that covers her fairly decently; a photo of three women in tank top and panties; and, a woman turned to the side, wearing a bikini. Underneath these photos are links to '8 Secrets of the Naturally Slim – Prevention.com'; and 'Women Assume Overweight Women Sloppy', by the Huffington Post.

Now, do it with “fat women”. No images come up, in and of themselves, for me; but, immediately two links are there, which lead to photos, and the most prevalent photo is one of a celebrity in a pink top – who people say is Britney Spears, but, I don't know – which has been artifically enhanced to add sex appeal. She looks like she is at least 30 lbs heavie,r, maybe more like 50 lbs, and it is all fat roundness.

There are many comments about how wrong it is to make fun of fat women and how much sexier fat women are than thin women.

Below these, there are links to 'For the Record, Fat Women Totally Get Laid, ..”; Thte Truth About Fat Women and Self-Control ...”; and 'Fat Women Have More Sex – Asylum.com.

All articles, if you should run into them, I suggest you read, by the way. Especially, the middle one found under “fat women”, which says, in part:

“"People argue that being overweight is unhealthy. The research on this is not quite as cut and dried. Health is blood pressure, glucose level, heart rate, the ability to climb stairs," Smith said, measures that are often, but not always, connected to body fat. "Research has found that it's better to be fat and healthy than thin and unhealthy."

and

"We need to expand our idea of what beautiful is," she said. "People are suffering because we have a standard that is unattainable by most of us," and as we grow older, "eventually, by all of us."

Now, let's go straight to images and then videos of “thin women”. Oh, just a bunch of women in aundewear or clothes, under images. Under videos, two videos at the top, explaining how thin women and large men make more money. My personal theory: both appear more intimidating and manly and the world of work is still a man's world, indeed.

Now, on to “fat women”. The images are much the same as for “thin women” in great part; except that, interlaced among them, are many shockingly sexual photos of normal to extra large sized females in lingerie, showing their naye naye regions, doing odd things to male genitalia, etc. Don't dwell on it, just learn from it and move on. Or, take my word for it and thank me for having suffered the brunt of the ocular abuse.

I meant the ocular abuse of having witnessed pornography, by the by. The videos are mostly related to filming and making fun of fat women. However, you switch it to BBW, which is what fat women are mostly called, now'a'days, and it becoems immediately all pornoriffic on the videos and mostly pornoriffic on the images. The “everything” aisle is mosly about dating or defining BBW's, with a touch of insult at the bottom, and an endearing workshop for building bears.

So, thin women = seriousness, money and non-threatening manliness. Fat women = intimidating sexuality and a loose cannon approach to life. Like with women and girls, then, there are good points and bad to both sides of the coin, and a balance would be wonderful.

Lunch/dinner

Last night, I cooked two chicken breasts of the boneless, skinless variety.  I ate one of them, shortly thereafter.

Today, for a big ol' lunch that should hold me past all reasonable dinner times - partly because it is filling and a decent sized meal and partly because it is likely to be consumed very slowly- I am having the other chicken breast.

I had used some lemon pepper and a few other things on it, at the time of cooking, though I can tell you that it tasted particularly un-spicy to me.

Today, I added a little more lemon pepper, some red pepper flakes and sea salt; and, what I did was put some cous cous and the proper amount of water in a bowl, through some pickled pepper rings in, layer the chicken breast on top, add in a wee bit of spice, more and then microwave it all into submission.

Oh, and I put in the rest of the can of Great Northern Beans. The chicken noodle soup got spilled twice. I cannot find the mess, but ,I know it is there, somewhere, as the two people who spilled it, once each, were not seen with paper towel or wash cloth, afterward.

Today's breakfast is brought to you by :

Quaker Oats! That stuffy belly achy gut, so you can poo breakfast of hardworking farmers, the world over.

Well, some of that may be true!

Anyway ....

I am having oatmeal, in what may or may not be a proper serving size, mixed with fresh (frozen) cranberries, cinnamon, a dollop of mandarin orange marmalade, a  tsp or two of safflower oil, and a scant handful of almonds.

Disappointingly, I did not nuke it all the way into submission, so it is waterier than I would best enjoy; but, it is cooked enough and I already did a bit of dancing, today, so I am a little tired and not inclined to hop up and start blasting it with radioactive particles, again.

On the subject of microwaves, I am of two minds. In general, I think it is best not to have one and to cook the old fashioned way.

However, if you are too tired, stressed out, busy or bereft of knowledge to cook rice (for instance) on the stove top and eating rice would be healthier than eating whatever else you would be eating, instead, because you are never going to cook rice on the stove top, then a microwave is better to have than not to have, for the nonce.

A rice steamer, however, is a nice compromise and if you get the right sort of steamer, it can also be used for veggies, fish, or even combinations of veggies and fish, or rice and fish, or veeggis and rice, and etc.

There are many days I'd like to toss my microwave out. Yet, my son eats Hot Pockets and I like rice, without having to stand around playing guessing games as to when it's going to start burning; plus, sometimes, we get corn dogs and there really is no excuse for the length of time those suckers take to bake in the oven.

My goal is to primarily move away from the sort of eating that requires a microwave. I do have a steamer. As of yet, however, I have not been able to find it and the vinegar on the same day and clean it out, and check to see if it works.

I got it cheap, from a thrift store; so, it's anybody's guess if the previous owner was a jerk who liked to have other people waste their money on defective items whilst they are garnering a tax break for themselves; or, if said previous owner bought a new steamer or was given one as a present and decided to donate the old; or, if the previous owner was simply one of those people who buy things, try them and then realize, years later, that there is no point in keeping it around, since that once or twice was all the use it ever got.

In other words, it may or may not work, but, I spent very little money on it, so I won't totally bewail my fate as regards said lovely steamer, should it be less than fully functional.

I should also have a crock pot, blender, Jet Stream Oven, toaster, and a tea kettle. I bought the tea kettle for my daughter, but, she left it here, so it is pink and it is mine! Until, at least, she comes for a visit and steals away with it, upon her leaving; then, it shall be pink and hers and I shall have to find me a new one.

The Jet Stream Oven is out at Mom and Dad's house. I have never put it together and tried it, to see if it works. Are you sensing a theme developing here?

It's the sort of thing you need to read a manual for. I have to concentrate to read a manual. Can read very well, me, but, not so much when it comes to instructions. That fact probably says a lot about my personality!

Said lovely oven is one of those things where you can, allegedly, cook whole meals, in much less time than it would take in the oven, maybe even less time than in the microwave. The thing is, one cannot read the instructions on use in less time than one can push buttons on a microwave or oven range, and, so, it sits unused.

Because, here is the crux of the matter: When I go to cook, it is because I, and/or someone else, is hungry! This is no time to start fiddling around with trying to learn things.. Nor is it a good time to take a chance on the bloody thing not working.

I guess what I need to do is get it together and see if there are instructions for, say, baking a cake or cookies; something, anyway, that could be cooked when not hungry and that would be able to sit idle for a while, after cooking, until hunger struck again.

Beer, Chicken, Beans and Frank talk

The other day I bought beer and cigarettes for the neighbors, and had some of both; then, later, we had a double patty burger at an atrocious time of the morning (as it was already past night).

At Roberta's, early that day, I had had a full chicken leg that had been barbecued with sweet n sour sauce (bottled), lime and garlic salsa (also bottled) and some spices such as garlic and cumin added. There were also chunks of white potato and some baked spinach, as I took frozen chopped spinach and layered it over the chunks of potatoes. So, when it was all done, the potatoes and spinach were lent flavor from the salsa, mainly, which had dripped off the chicken, during cooking. Also, ate part of another chicken leg.

Then, we each had an apple fritter and a jelly doughnut for dessert. The jelly doughnuts were weird, but, not so weird that they were inedible. It was more like fresh pureed fruit filling. So, yeah, just weird.

I think this insanity is brought on by a combination of the heat and, also, a certain freedom from having been wildly and passionately in love with someone who didn't, at all, deserve me.

Today, I had a cup o' noodle - shrimp, obviously- with a little garlic added and an apple for breakfast. Oh, and also some unsweetened tea and water.

For lunch, I opened up a can of Great Northern Beans and a can of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup and mixed about half of each together, tossed in some lemon pepper and garlic powder, frozen broccoli pieces and water, and nuked it all silly!

Don't know if I shall be having a dinner or no.