Today, I did not get up and get acv water or do oil pulling, or drink hot water with lemon. I am too tired, too stressed, too worn out to keep going. I need lots of rest and lots of cleanliness and order, so as to rest my nerves, so that is what I am concentrating on.
I had a few cookies, a few chips, earlier. Now, I am having two slices of whole grain bread, three thin slices of turkey lunch meat, a big chunk of cucumber and some more of the big bottle of sparking soda water. Only, it is called sparkling seltzer. Is there a difference? Don't know!
After reading the Bible, I spent a wee bit of time sorting out clothes, and I now have a pile to go away. Strangely, one of the pair of pants I had put in that pile is now on my body, because it is convenient, comfortable and the waistband goes farily well with the tank top I am wearing. Which, if I was not wearing it, would also be in the pile to go away. Hmm...
The reason they would be to go away is that they are slightly holey and/or stained, the pants are missing their drawstring, etc. The reason why they will probably stay is that they are very comfortable to wear around the house and I don't have to worry if I spill food on them or stain them up whilst cleaning. It's good to have at least one pair of clothes of which these things can be said in truth.
There are a wee few things I am keeping that do not fit me. The things I once made my daughter try on, for instance, to see if they would still look good on me if I lost weight. I was approximately a size 18/20, she was approximately a size 2, so I figured if they looked good on me and they looked good on her, then they would look good on anyone at any size in-between.
There is one brown skirt that probably actually fits me now, but, which I will not wear. Why? It has a stupid waist band. I don't know what inspired manufacturers, or designers, to assume that overweight women are built just like slimmer women, in the abdominal region. Whatever it is, it obviously has tight hold on their minds though.
The waistband of the skirt would be perfectly wonderful for a woman who had gained weight entirely proportional to the figure she had before she gained weight, and, she was a woman with a rather large set of hips and behind with which to hold the skirt up.
As it is, since it has no elastic in it, it is a skirt that is guaranteed to shift strangely from side to side, before making it's way down my belly, slowly, and then suddenly sliding off completely, once it gets past that and realizes it is around hips that are smaller than the belly it was crawling over just moments before.
Yes, my waist is actually smaller than my hips, but, the skirt doesn't hit at my waistline,as I have a high waistline, which is something else designers have never heard of. So, big belly, high waistline, smaller rib cage than belly, smaller hips than parts of belly = skirt that crawls every upward or ever downward, probably in a spiral pattern. All of which could be fixed by an elastic waistband.
So, basically, I have a beautiful long wool skirt that I am keeping around for the material, and, when I lose enough weight, I intend to alter it, or have it altered, so that it has an elastic waist band and it drapes better. The color is gorgeous, the fabric is lovely to touch. The waistband makes me want to spit on someone.
Anyway ...
It is my intention to work, each day, on clearing out or cleaning up a bit of the house, until it is less cluttered and far more functional; and, while I shall still try to be eating my veggies and such, I shall not be considering myself on a diet or exercise regimen, nor shall I be going and weighing. Well, unless my clothes start falling off me, and this time it is obviously due to weight loss. Then I might go, out of curiosity.
After I get the house in order, a bit, or maybe during, I shall write out a decent plan - eating and exercise schedule - that will take into account a general lack of funds, tendency toward allergies, and a decided need for flavor, as well as other particulars of health and happiness. Then, once it is written and I can find things, most days, I shall begin!
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